Divorces in Illinois do not occur overnight. At a minimum, we expect uncontested divorces to take two months to finalize. Contested divorces can drag on for years depending on what’s involved. Regardless of the timeline, spouses invariably have to communicate. How they do so can make a difference in the eventual outcome of their case.
We at ABM Family Law are an experienced family law firm in Chicago. Our Chicago divorce lawyers are among the best in the business. We invite you to contact us if you and your spouse have decided to divorce. We are here to assist you with top-notch legal representation.
In the meantime, allow us to offer the following five tips for communicating with your spouse during the divorce proceeding:
1. Don’t Discuss the Divorce Itself
Your first priority is to avoid discussing the divorce itself. The reasoning is simple. A divorce is a formal proceeding that must go through a standard court process. In simple terms, divorce is a legal matter. Should you and your spouse decide to communicate directly about anything related to your divorce, you could gum the legal process. You could also slow it down significantly.
As divorce attorneys, we are here to represent you. Therefore, all discussions in any way relating to the divorce proceeding should go through us. You communicate with us; your spouse communicates with their attorney; the two attorneys communicate with one another. That is how this works.
2. Try to Remove the Emotion
There are going to be things you and your spouse have to discuss before the divorce is final. There are lots of examples. For instance, your spouse may have to delay picking up your child for the weekend due to having to work late. When that phone call comes, do your very best to remove any emotion from the discussion. Keep your conversation on the topic at hand; keep it focused on the facts.
If you have to speak to your spouse about fixing the car or maintaining the house, the same rule applies. If you can both remove your emotions from the equation, you’ll find it easier to communicate without escalating to an argument.
3. Maintain a Civil Tone
A natural extension of removing the emotion is maintaining a civil tone. When you communicate with your spouse about topics not directly related to divorce, you can do so in a civil manner. There’s no need to be sarcastic or biting. There is no need to throw jabs. Maintaining a civil tone reduces the likelihood of arguments and demonstrates to your spouse that you are not on the warpath.
4. Be Ready to Step Back
Sometimes you try to remove the emotion and maintain a civil tone but still find conversations getting out of hand. What do you do then? You step back and cool off. It is better to temporarily pause the conversation than letting it go on and risk a full-scale eruption. As a side note, it’s helpful to be ready to step back before the conversation even begins.
5. Be as Prompt as You Can
It’s pretty normal these days for people to take their time responding to emails, voicemails, etc. During a divorce proceeding, that’s the last thing you want to do. Be as prompt as you can with all of your communications – including communications with both your attorney and your spouse. Being prompt avoids unnecessary delays, misunderstandings, and so forth.
Communicating with your spouse while a divorce is ongoing presents opportunities to make matters worse. Hopefully, the tips offered in this post will make communicating with your spouse safer and easier.
Recent Comments